Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
