O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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