id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
