What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
