weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
no, he came in my armpit
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
