lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
