i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just want nice things and good sex
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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