what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You're like the curious george of whores
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
