she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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