speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
