OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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