she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
