This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
