is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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