The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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