So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Randomize
