He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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