He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
