so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
