I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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