The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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