So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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