Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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