i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
