so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
