ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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