I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
