how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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