I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
