That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
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