Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
