He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
