when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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