I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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