Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
