I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
