I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
