I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
