nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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