I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
