If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
