i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
