I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
