You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
