Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Is it penis luge time yet?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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