I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
