There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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