How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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