I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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