Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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