Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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