I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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