Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
A+ Viking dick
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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