I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
