only if we run a train.
done.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize