Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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